Wednesday, January 14, 2015

2014, 2015 and the goal(s)

Hey guys, It's been a minute since I have posted. This one will be short but I can promise that I'm going to post once a week for the next 50 weeks. Last year I felt burnt out towards the end. Which is weird because I had a great year comedy wise and personally I accomplished some goals I wanted to but I felt truly tired. I felt like I was treading water and had lost sight of the goal. This year I'm recommitting towards two simple goals; Consistency and follow through. The new year always brings out mixed feelings for me. Of course theres the always renewal of optimism thats catching for a few then there's the other side for me. I'm always depressed because it reminds me of my cousin Jarret Wade who passed on Jan 14th, 2012 the same day I moved to LA. He passed of Non hodgkins-lymphoma cancer and it's always a weird time for me because he never got to see me perform. Now I've been here about 3 years today. I did my usual cry and tried to be productive but the memory of jarret is particularly heavy today. I feel now stronger than ever the urge to put out content. Maybe it's for when I die or maybe it's just to put something out but I don't have much. Guess I'll add it to the list of goals. Now of course this isn't saying it's all I want to do but it's something easy enough that I can keep mindful of on a daily basis. I'm not organized and never will be so I'm probably not going to start changing this poor life habit of mine this year either lol I hope 2015 is good for all of us. The world is a crazy... no wait the world is getting crazier by the second and it's moving so fast my only hope is that we all are able to find something stable to hold on to during these windy trying times. Well folks thats it for me today. Maybe I'll post something if the spirit moves me but if not I'll see you next week! Happy new years! Q

Friday, August 22, 2014

Human Life>Human rights>#ferguson>#Mikebrown Another one?!

Let me first say; RIP Mike Brown. I didn't know him at all. Didn't have to. I just felt the sting of his death because I too am a black male and I too fear getting killed by the police.

I struggled writing this post mainly because it's so damn crazy whats going on and whats been discovered in this past week and a half. We all are. Everybody is shocked, appalled, disgusted, saddened by this tragedy of not only Mike Browns death but what's been going on in Ferguson.

Thats touching and all But should we? Should we really be shocked and surprised? Why are we? Is it the police brutality? The killing of an unarmed kid? The horrible response and ridiculous police tactics towards peaceful protesters? Take your pick but we shouldn't be surprised at all. We have known this to happen before and we know that police have been profiling and killing black men with little to no consequences in the eyes of the law. This is nothing new.

That's the saddest part out of all this. NONE of this is anything new to anybody in America. Sure we would like to think that we have progressed since our ugly early formative years but alas we haven't. We still don't treat black people or women like truly equal and respected citizens across the board.

I don't know all the facts about this case. Nobody does and thats ok. But I do know some facts on humanity. Nobody deserves to die for being different. Nobody deserves to be slandered posthumously. Those are two for starters. I'm sure we could all think about this and come up with countless others.

There has been some good to come from Mike brown's death. The American People are waking up. We are no longer playing dead, sleep, complacent with ANYTHING the bureaucratic system feeds us. Thats what's going on in Ferguson right now. yes it started out the demanding for justice but it has grown to people fighting the system and powers that be for their rights. Rights that this country has been founded on. I just wish another black kid didn't have to die for it to spark the fires of revolution.

I'm sad and I'm tired and I'm saddened to say that I'm numb to this whole ordeal now. I'm tired of black men getting their lives cut short by police. I'm tired of the uproar that follows another wrongful death for the system to actually be fair and jumpstart the due process. Tired of the black leaders only appearing when cameras are on. tired of the media twisting/ignoring the stories until the people talking about it becomes too loud to ignore, tired of seeing black families grieve, tired of the ignorant and racist drivel I read on friends social media accounts. Tired of being surprised by who's racist and ignorant that I know. I'm tired of the cops walking away scott free, tired of the phrase 'Paid suspension' tired of the people losing focus and interest mere weeks after the incident. I'm tired of those being completely clueless on these issues, tired of those being passive, tired of those who aren't even participating in social dialogue just ranting I'm tired of it all. I'm most tired of the lies I see/hear folks tell themselves to justify another death of a black man.

" he had a record."
"he cursed"
"he drank"
"he smoked" (this one is becoming their favorite one to use now)
"He listened to (take your pic of music)"

All I can respond with is a smh and a tired yet incredulous 'So?!'

Who cares if some of those or if all of them are true?! Does that make it right?

Who polices the police? Who can we go to when the people designed to restore order aren't? when they aren't playing fair? when they are killing instead of protecting? Nobody. We are completely powerless and it's finally starting to sink in to a lot of people

We can't complain about the govt lying to us when we accept them and then tell lies to ourselves to help us feel better.

How many black men must die? Oscar Grant? Amadou Diallo? Trayvon Martin? Mike Brown? Eric Graner? Ezel Ford? Anthony Baez? Edward garner? Anthony Dwain Lee? These are real people who died and not all get movies or paid out by the cities. Real men who are now remembered by families or in rap lyrics or by the occasional historian until it happens again.

If you don't know all the men I listed. Google them and read the outcomes.

It's sad but you know what else is sad? Is that after the outcome of this Ferguson and human rights violation, after it dies down we still wouldn't have addressed the issue that sparked it all: 'Why are cops killing black men so frequently and walking away with no punishment so often?'

The issue America NEVER wants to address, acknowledge or apologize for. Racism. It's alive and well sadly. Nothing changes completely history repeats itself and we are now in the civil rights era dressed up as human rights era.

Stay Strong Ferguson. Stay strong Mike Brown's family. This is bigger than race its now a human rights issue but lets not forget that race is what got this all started.

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Why you're single pt. 2

Hey Ladies! Hope you enjoyed my last post! If you guys are still single and none of those categories then maybe it's one of these!

Enjoy and remember; This is for your own good and it's Free Game.

Insecurity Ugh

I get it ladies, society has made it difficult to be yourselves and enjoy your body. I also understand that men are controlled by tubes that fill with blood when excited and the thrill of conquest excites them even more.
But here's some news for you ladies:
Men are going to do what men are going to do. You can't control them no more than you can control time or the sun or aging. You can only hope to do your best and not give them a reason to. How do I know? because I have cheated. I also have been cheated on. Both could have been avoided. In fact most cheating scenarios can be avoided but you gotta pay attention to the signs. Another post for that one though.

Insecurity isn't attractive. It isn't cute. Nobody likes it. Work on this immediately and stop it or you will forever keep going through break up after break up. Most people are insecure. It's natural. Men included, bodies, wealth, sex drive, you name it, someone else has it and you don't. Deal with it. Always going to be a younger hotter woman, your mans instincts to look. Let him. Never give him a reason to touch. Always going to be a man out there with more money, or a better car, or a bigger dick. It is what it is. Accept this and move on and be secure with the fact that you are awesome and if they can't recognize that then they aren't for you but remember: Insecurity has to stop.


Most women have attitude and that's fine. I like my women with a little snap to them. What I don't like is attitude for no reason. Who the fuck are you fighting?! I can't speak for young men anymore for I am not one. I can speak for older men and say with complete confidence as I speak for other men that "we just want peace" that's it. Leave that fighting and petty shit outside or in your head with the rest of the last posts. Nobody wants to deal with a woman that thinks she's too good for correction or stuff like that. Nobody is perfect or exempt. I don't care how fat your ass is or how big ya tits are. you ain't too fine to get left alone in these cold single streets! Most men aren't just thirsty sex buckets ya know.. But maybe too much attitude or insecurity go hand in hand. Hmmm #freegame


This is simple enough. Quit being so got damn greedy ladies. y'all trying too hard to get too much up front and haven't even shown you can boil water. Chill, you'll meet a nice dude who's gonna run after you in the rain and give flowers to you at work but shit y'all gotta chill out on these 'Industry standards' you professing. I heard a woman just now say 'A first date he has to drop 200' I spit out my beverage. Who the fuck did this lady think she was?! He ain't even seen if you own nice lingerie yet but you want him to drop 2 benji's?! Too greedy. A lot of women forget that a relationship is like a potluck and both parties need to bring something to the table besides appetites and silverware.

Womanly Traits

I don't care how sexist it may sound but men want a woman that has womanly traits. No I don't expect women to be exclusively in the kitchen but at least know how to sautee and iron something if the need arises. This is really more about being a functioning adult than anything else. I can cook. I don't like to but I can. More than a few dishes also. Spaghetti is for high schoolers and noodles are for latchkey children. Cook a steak, salmon, chicken risotto. I want my woman to know how to iron a shirt or sew a button on my slacks. Fact: Most women don't know how to be women. Same goes for men. Whole generations lost out there man. It's sad. Ladies if you don't know how to cook you can't keep a man. Simple. EVERY man wants a home cooked meal every now and then. Hell I done kicked it with Jezebel like women I don't like for a homemade lasagna lol (Nah I can't cook that from scratch for all you smart ass women out there)

Cook a bit, clean a bit, help out a bit around the house and boy oh boy watch the random sweet htings that man does.


Shortest post yet. Kids. Ugh. Hate them. Me not men. But I know nobody wants an instamade family. Fuck I look like walking around with kids that ain't mine AND are bad?! Nah, beat it. Now ladies if you raise your kids correctly and they have manners and are well behaved then most men are down for that. I tried it even once. point is this make sure your kids are well behaved because if they aren't it's a reflection of you and your morals walking around and breathing.

If you fit these, fix them. If you don't then you in the wrong city and need to move. Love don't exist as common as you might think lol

A lot of y'all are good women. There are a lot of good men out there. Find one. Relax.

Hope you enjoy and find love and happiness!

The Free Game.

Monday, February 10, 2014

A few reasons why you're single pt. 1 (Ladies)

Dear women, you're single and probably wondering why. Well here we go:

1) Fantasy world/Prince charming-

Since the beginning of everybody's childhood we remember the stories of 'prince charming' and how he would rescue his princess and whisk her away and they lived happily ever after. Aww how cute. Well times have changed ladies. it's 2014 and it's time to be realistic. I know Walt Disney, Nicholas Sparks have formed your thoughts on what a good man is and should do but sadly it's not real. Most men aren't going to do that especially the good ones. Why? Because why would he (or anybody for that matter) want to do all the work? Is that fair?! No. So lets relax with this notion. Now I'm not saying accept any and everything from any old guy but if you relax with this little girl mentality you'll probably have a lot more eligible and suitable bachelors pursuing you because men want to be appreciated just like you guys. Don't put them up against fantasy same way you don't want to be compared to a porn he's watched. No guy wants a brat/baby so if you think you're cute enough to hold out then by all means go for it. But when you're the last single ones out of the girls and you're online dating on multiple sites then don't come back to me crying cause I'll tell you 'I told you so' No man is going to save you, if it's real love then you guys will save each other and each others strengths and weaknesses will compliment each other. But another chapter for that.

2) Baggage/Bitter

Grow up.We get it but grow up! We all have been hurt/disappointed in dating and love. This whole 'prove to me you're worth it' that I see/hear a lot of women on is BS and I'm done hearing it. Listen to your Beyonce or Mary J Blige and be depressed quietly in the 'not ready' section. Just grow up and stop with this emotional jungle gym. No self respecting man is going to put up with this attitude of 'What makes you different?' FOH I encounter SOOO many women who are of this category it's ridiculous. Baggage isn't attractive and neither is being bitter. Ugh Don't date until you're over your ex.It's not fair to you or your new partner. Got him arguing with ghosts of past fuck ups and confusing that poor dude SMH at this type of woman especially.

3) Not ready/Confused

Alright this is the most common type of woman. You're now in your 20's out of college and have dated around nothing really serious since high school. Slowly you've been awakened by the reality that most men aren't 'Prince charming' but you still have hope. RomCom's, music, and society has said that "there are good guys out there just wait for it and the one worth your time will come along when you're ready :)" well NEWSFLASH LADIES!! THE WORLD DOESN'T REVOLVE ON YOUR TIME FRAME/PREFERENCES!!

What happens is you get some good guys while you're looking for this fantasy balance of 'good/bad tough/sensitive sweet/salty' combination guy. You overlooked him. He came and was the one who wasn't what you were looking for and you disregarded him. Poor him, Lucky you. Why lucky you? because there are more good men out there than you realize.

But when dating you have to ask yourself a few questions and answer them honestly. 'Is this what I want? Am I ready? what if this goes the distance?' If you aren't ready then admit that to yourself and stay 23 and just have fun. Don't try dating saying 'I know what I want and I won't settle and i'm ready' when you're not, you don't and you will. it's ok. most folks aren't ready but stop with the loudly voicing you're ready when you're not. You're only wasting everybody's time and energy. Just chill. Being alone isn't the end of the world no matter the age. when you're ready it will happen and it'll be genuine easy and carefree. You're welcome.

4) "types and criteria"

Most of women's types and criteria for a man they want to date isn't even sensible. as I said you're looking for an unrealistic balance in a man. There isn't a man who can fight seven dudes and cry at the notebook. there isn't a man who is as equally passionate and interested in your scandal show as he is about the playoffs. he won't ride a motorcycle and drive a prius. You get it. Chill with these outrageous "standards' He has to have a car, makes 75k, live on his own and want kids and to be married all within the next 3 years. He has to be 6'4 because you like to wear heels. man GTFOH and have several seats! Women hate when men do that to them. "Oh I want 36/24/36 blah blah blah." it isn't real. that's porn/fantasy. You should up your standards and simply ask for a man who is sweet, willing to try, meet you halfway and is respectful. THOSE are GOOD qualities! want a man who is willing to match and meet you halfway. Your criteria isn't real! Wake up! that's why you think you can't find a good man or that there aren't any out there! you're not being realistic.

All in all I have another 3 reasons for next time but here is some take away advice for you ladies

- A good and real relationship is like a potluck. Both parties are bringing something to the table besides appetites and silverware. You guys should compliment each others talents skills ideas and dreams. Opposites attract but only so much before they repel each other.

-You're a good woman. You don't have to "settle" for anything from anyone you don't deem deserving. Compromise is essential though. All relationships that have been successful are built on communication and compromise. LEARN to do those and you'll be happy.

-you're a good woman, not gods gift to man. Relax and know that any man worth while is going to see know and go for that.

-Communicate effectively. try to say exactly what you want/feel and if you feel like you can't with that man then tell him you don't want to be made fun of for it. TALK TO US

-Pick and choose your battles. Self explanatory

Alright ladies, Have a good one! I'll do the men sometime this week and close on the other main reasons why y'all are single after that.

Be well


Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Childish Gambino (Because of the Internet)

Childish Gambino is nice on the mic. Seriously, dude is a talented guy. I conceded this (albeit begrudgingly) before in my last post about his mix tape 'ROYALTY' So I was checking for him on tracks. He had a dope verse on Chance's album, dropped good individual tracks like 'Yaphet Kotto' and 'Centipede' and had a smooth verse on Jhene Aiko 'Bed Peace'. Mix all that in with the fact that his album leaks were dope and I was excited for 'Because of the internet'.

Fast forward a week after it drops and I've had enough time to mull over the album and gather my thoughts about it. Some misses but it is a solid album. I was excited even more so because I saw 20 tracks and thought 'Yeah! this is what I'm talking about' but was disappointed when I saw there were five second tracks (wtf is that about?) and five interludes.

BOTI first track 'crawl' goes hard in the system and sounds like an old Kanye beat left off 'Yeezus' futuristic with hella bass beat it's cool but not for me.

'Worldstar'- I don't peruse the website so I didn't get into this track. the smooth breakdown for the last minute and a half makes it bearable.

'The worst guys'- yes. expected Chance to rap but good beat, could smoke and let this play. smooth beat but could've done without the guitar and crooning but I like this track.

'Shadows'- I like this track. It fits him. I can see him actually experiencing/feeling the things he says. Just a smooth track and then the beat breaks down into chaos.

'Telegraph'-Yes! A beat and a song that fits him and plays smoothly until the end. It is really reminiscent of a Drake track especially with the Lloyd feature. Good track overall.

'Sweatpants'- I like this track. Dark simple beat and it seems like it was left off royalty. Problem as a feature but no verse. goes in the system for sure.

'3005'- One of my favorite tracks personally. beat, hook, verses. One of the only complete songs on the album. Very good track.

'The party'- FOH with this minute and a half track. Sounds like he stole this from Andre 3k as in I could see Andre doing this very thing.

'No exit'- Ehh. Missed me and seemed pointless but it's cool.

'Flight of the navigator'- Yes. Another 3 stack ish track. BBut I'll be damned if this isn't a good ass track. I have it on repeat and throughly enjoy it. Props

'Zealots of Stockholm'-Nah takes too long to go nowhere except into a poem.

'Urn'- Once again get the entire FOH with this 1:13 track. Need more.

'Pink Toes'- fluff, frank ocean, Jhene Aiko on here and I feel like it was about her and pharell tossed him this beat. It will work for most but not me.

'Earth the oldest computer'- I mos def didn't hear Macklemore on the track and he was supposed to be featured. Wasn't into the scrillex, futuristic sound he was going for. Would make a good track for DJ's to drop tho. Ehh. Not for me.

'Life the biggest troll'- This is a deep track and I imagine he wrote it after the Instagram fiasco he went on. It's deep and the only time I feel like I connect with him as an artist/person. good track.

'What kind of love'- sounds like it could have been on the 'Flight of the navigator' it's cool.

Overall it IS a good album not cohesive but what album really is nowadays. It sounds like a mix of Drake, Andre 3000, Frank Ocean and Kanye all got together and made this album. Donald is dope vere but I feel like this album sophmore didn't get the slump but missed the mark that would've placed him up there with the best spitters like Chance the rapper and AB-Soul. I do get what he was trying to do make it like a film and since he did his before Beyonce it's not like he's copying her but... I expected so much more.

Good album. Worth a listen and has the potential to grow on you. It's worth copping. Just wanted more. Maybe next time.

Thursday, December 5, 2013

SICC Pt. 1

GREETINGS!! It has been a while since I have updated you guys! I'm well on my way to doing a 1000. Life is good and I have been fortunate enough to be asked to participate in the 34th annual Seattle International Comedy Competition. I applied the past few years and finally I got accepted! It was an honor as over 1300 submissions applied and I was one of the 32 that got in.

I won't lie I went in with the mindset to win it all and that is the wrong mindset to have. I mean it's good to be confident and competitive but you will get in your own head and that will do you a disservice. This update is to show you what I learned about the competition and about my comedy.

1) Be yourself.
     Remember you're there for a reason. You belong. No matter how well other comics do or bad you do you're there for a reason. it's easy to get caught up in the competition with rankings and points. Comedians came from all over to try their hand at it. Whatever you did that got you there you should keep doing it. hopefully it was you being you.

2) It means nothing.
     Long term side of things this will either be a positive or a not so positive experience. Try to be as funny as YOU can and you'll place. This is a small bump on the road. relax and enjoy your time there. Thats what I did and had phenomenal sets the last two nights.

3) You can't figure it out/don't know what they are looking for.
      This goes for comedy, entertainment, life in general. It seems Self explanatory but I realized this on the second to last night of the competition. Judges are humans. Humans err sometimes greatly other times minor but they err. Do I think I deserved to place a few more nights than I did? yes. Do I think I should've advanced? I don't know. The judges had a criteria to stick towards but as is the problem with judging subjective forms of art they also have a challenging job. I get it. Still doesn't mean I'm happy I didn't place some nights lol


How many times have you heard that? Network, make friends/connections. I'll never forget when Graham Kay (one of this years finalists and one from my week to move on) looked me in the eye and said "You've had a string of good sets and you're good for only being doing comedy 3 years. you'll be fine. You've done big competitions/festivals you'll be fine" I think he's staying with me in January when he moves here.

Dave Merheje is a beast who also had kind words. I let Tin V (comic who came all the way from Slovenia) stay with me. I'm now booked whenever I go to Europe. Anne Edmonson is from Australia who's a beast (All aussies are in my opinion) point is it's cliche but find the silver lining when you feel yourself getting down. In this case that silver lining is networking and connecting with other comics.

My next post will be about the comics and producers in the competition!

See ya in a few!


Wednesday, October 16, 2013

A letter to comics at open mics

Dear Comics, 

I write to you as one of you not from some lofty national headliner perch as I have seen others do. While it is touching and inspiring as they reflect on their times in the trenches and talk about it and we get excited and think to ourselves 'It gets better' I remind myself that they are far removed from battle and no longer know what is going on down here in the open mics.

I have done over 750 sets this year and most of them have been mics. I'm here to tell you the obvious that everybody already knows but most don't realize: MICS SUCK! BUT THEY DON'T HAVE TO! Yes there are egos and crappy hosts and cliques and people who don't act (and aren't) interested but there is also the attitude of comics in the room that "this sucks" and are just waiting for their time. 

This has to stop. 

We are all there to work on a joke and need the mic to do that otherwise we would save time gas energy and stress levels and just do it in the bathroom/shower. Like all shows sometimes it's the room, crowd or host etc. Sometimes it's you, your material, or you not reading a room correctly and you bomb. Oh fucking well. Bomb and bomb again but learn something dammit! adjust! fine tune! Don't just go to a mic, phone it in and then get mad and say 'ahhh this sucks.' YES IT SUCKS!!! THIS IS PRACTICE!!  While I know most comics may not be into sports/played them you do have to practice to get better and you'll only get out what you put in.

How do we make practice better? Here are a few notions I thought of. Do what you will with them.

1) Support each other

Easy enough to do. We all are there to work on crafts, shit just clap or laugh or snicker if something has potential. Jesus, I laugh when something is funny. I have heard some jokes that are wonderful and I'm the only one laughing only to look around and see folks almost purposefully trying not to laugh. Support-laugh when it's funny, clap as they get to the stage/off of it. Boom. No real struggle there and you get to stay "cool".

2) Pay attention

This is harder than step one. It requires you to get out of your own damn head and stop being so self absorbed. LISTEN to someone else for once! especially if you're going to get on stage and complain about nobody paying attention to you! Get out of your phone or your jokebook and pay attention to somebody else other than your friends. It works, trust me.

3) Feedback

I know it's getting more difficult for folks now. But this step is easy if you're doing the first two. hell it's almost like you're HELPING SOMEONE ELSE WRITE A JOKE! Dear god! Imagine that! Helping a fellow comic get better without payment in return! Man that's some noble shit right there and guess what, depending on how you present it, the comic will be appreciative or at least responsive! Some of my most hard hitting jokes have been because a person gave me a suggestion/tag and I worked with it or ran with it. Thanks Tony Baker

4) Material

Material in it's earliest stages can be shit. But working it out it can turn out some real diamonds. That being said not every idea is a classic/genius premise. Sometimes you may have a great idea and it's not ready, other times you may be writing ahead of your skill level, realize this and move on. Not every bit is for every room. No, a bunch of jocks may not get your marty mcfly reference. No a bunch of comic book enthusiasts may not get your Kobe analogy. It's ok. pay attention to that make notes and adjust it for next time. Yes this is extra work but it helps in the long run. 

Also be aware that comics aren't "normal" people so what they laugh at an average comedy club crowd may not. Rape nor racism or sexism, or religious jokes aren't funny. Stop it. Write something meaningful besides perpetuating corny ass media created stereotypes.

5) Attitude

I'm so sick and tired of this 'I'm  comic self defeatist' attitude. EVERY FUCKING MIC I GO TO SOMEONE IS COMPLAINING ABOUT SOMETHING!! WHO CARES?! EVERYBODY'S LIFE SUCKS MAN!! GET OVER IT AND SHUT UP OR MAKE IT FUNNY TO THE MASSES! THOSE ARE YOUR OPTIONS!! But this whole 'I masturbate/I'm single/I online date/I'm jewish so that's why I'm a comic or I'm sad' shit has got to go man. Same with the drug shit, smoke a bit (or a lot) have fun and tell jokes. JOKES!! NOT COMPLAINTS OR TWEETS OR THOUGHTS ON POP CULTURE!! CHANGE YOUR MINDEST AND MAYBE YOUR PHYSICAL WILL TOO

All this being said who the fuck am I? Why do i feel the need to speak on this? Because I'm tired. Tired of having my mood killed at mics. Tired of working on things I think are funny but need to know if others do. Do not confuse this with validation! I KNOW others are too. I'm trying to get better and I thought other comics were too. Isn't that what we signed up for? to be funny and join the fraternity of class clowns? If not rethink somethings and figure out why you're really here.


A PROUD "Open Micer"